How to Play Ragdoll Football

The goal

Put the ball in the goal at the far end of the pitch. That is the whole objective. There is no offside, no foul, no throw-in and no referee — the pitch has walls, so the ball never goes out of play.

You control one ragdoll. It runs, jumps and kicks, and it falls over when it hits something hard enough. Falling is not a death state: your ragdoll stands up automatically after about three quarters of a second.

How a match works

A match is first to five goals. There is no clock, so a game lasts as long as it takes — usually two to three minutes. After each goal the ball returns to the centre and both ragdolls reset, then play continues with the same score.

Press R at any time to restart. Be aware that R resets the score as well as the positions, which is the single most common way people accidentally throw away a lead.

How scoring works

The ball counts when it crosses the line inside the goal frame. Goals are credited by which net the ball entered, not by who touched it last — so knocking the ball into your own net gives the point to your opponent.

Low shots along the ground are the easiest to score and the hardest to save, because the goal mouth sits low on a ragdoll's body.

Your first sixty seconds

Do this in order. It is faster than reading the controls page first.

• Press Start or Space. Nothing moves until you do.
• Run at the ball with A or D instead of standing next to it — a standing kick barely moves the ball.
• Press S as your front foot reaches the ball, not before.
• After the kick, keep running. The ball rebounds off the walls more often than it goes in first time.
• If you fall over, keep holding a direction: you will stand up on your own and can keep moving.

Three mistakes beginners make

These cost more goals than any lack of skill. Fix them and the CPU stops feeling unfair.

• Kicking a bouncing ball at head height — it goes almost straight up, often backwards.
• Chasing the ball into a corner — your ragdoll ends up facing the wall and takes a second to turn.
• Both players crowding the ball — one of you has to stay between the ball and the goal.

Next step

Once you can score twice against the CPU, read the controls page for the exact kick geometry. It explains why a running kick beats a standing one, which is the difference between passing and hoping.